Cross that one off the list

Thanks to another mom's status update on Facebook, I found out the girls were learning about where babies come from.

(They certainly weren't offering up this information on their own.)

When I asked them what they'd learned at school that day, they casually mentioned that they'd started learning about it, but there was more to come.

Oh, did I mention that one of them was sick that day? So I practically shoved her out the door the next day, not wanting her to miss any of this, because God knows I was in no rush to have this conversation...

So days go by, and nothing is mentioned.

Finally the other day we were driving somewhere and I asked what they learned at school that day.

Silence.

"Did you learn about where babies come from, and that's why you don't want to talk about it?"

"Yes."

Later on, they started to tell me more about it.

"And then someone asked if you can choose to have a baby, or how you end up having a baby."

"And?"

"And then the teacher TOLD us! And we giggled. Because he even used the word!!"

"What word? Penis?"

"No!"

"Sex?"

"YES!"

Pause.

"So....we know, Mommy."

Pause. Meaningful look straight at me.

"We know....."

How the other half lives

I went to a work event the other day, and one of the presenters was a person I recognized from high school.

I knew he had gone to an Ivy League school after high school (with a scholarship, I think)...when I read his bio, it turns out that yes, he got his undergraduate degree from Harvard, and then he got his Ph.D. from Oxford, where he was a Rhodes Scholar.

I was telling all of this to DH last night over dinner, and we were marvelling at how intelligent and focussed one would have to be to achieve such things.

At which point S said, "May I please change the subject now?"

Me: "Sure, what would you like to talk about?"

S: "M was telling us about this video of gymnasts at the Olympics where someone has dubbed it to make it look like they're all farting..."

DH: "Oh, man, we've gotta see that!"

I'm 97% sure that the same conversation was not happening at the Rhodes Scholar's dinner table last night.

Free labour!

I had two goals yesterday: get groceries and clean the bathroom.

(Spoiler alert: I accomplished neither.)

The second goal was especially important because, when I tried to remember the last time I thoroughly cleaned the bathtub, the best answer I could come up with was "before Christmas."

But when I realized it probably wasn't going to happen, I did my best impression of a multi-tasker and put the kids to work. Before each of them went in for a shower, I sprayed the cleaner on the tub, threw a washcloth on top, and told them to skate around while they were in there and get cleanin'.

Also, fun fact about me: if I get out of the shower and put my hair in a Turbie Twist,

and then get distracted by cleaning the damn tub, and my hair ends up drying completely in the Turbie Twist, when I eventually take off the Turbie Twist, I look like this guy:

That was lovely. Loud, but lovely.

I just came home from rehearsal and everyone is asleep.

I got ready for bed downstairs, then came up to my bedroom to find K sleeping in my spot. She and DH were snoring away, and she was sleeping so soundly I didn't want to disturb her, so I climbed into her bed.

As I lay there listening to E and S snoring, I was so filled with love. Lying in that cozy room, lit by the two bedside lights we've been using since we brought the girls home from the hospital, I thought about how lucky I am to be in a house with so much life and love in it. I listened to the rhythm of their wheezy, whistling breaths, and I thought about the fact that moments like this are fleeting, and the girls will be out of the house before I know it, and I'll look back on tonight and wish I could relive it one more time. I looked at their angelic little faces, surrounded by so many stuffed animals they were almost completely camouflaged in the cuteness.

And then I thought, "This snoring is driving me nuts, I've got to go downstairs and get some sleep."

I'm such a hypocrite

The girls were talking about a boy in their class who was being rude and grumpy and swearing at school the other day.

Me: Well, maybe he hears that kind of stuff at home, so....

E: Well so do we!! We just don't repeat it!!

______________________________________________________

Speaking of swearing, I've mentioned before that they gave me a heart attack one day when they said someone at school had used the C word.  (Turned out the kid had said, 'Crap.')

Yesterday they reported that someone used the F word!

Me: Really? The F word??

E: Yes, you know. The F - R word....

I couldn't actually determine if it was "frig" or "freakin'", because she wouldn't repeat it.

I guess this means that they think everything I say is a swear word, so they just don't repeat anything?

Not even "fudge knuckle" or "mother of pearl"? I feel like I'm making up these substitutes for nothing, now.

Not my kid...but still funny

On their way to Mass at school the other day, one of the girls in Kindergarten leaned over to one of my girls and told her:

"It's not really Jesus at Mass every time. It's just a guy dressed up."

________________________________________

Also, back on the subject of dreams:

Last night I dreamed that I was hunting for alligators by sticking my legs in muddy water and feeling around to see where the alligators were.

Then an alligator was biting my toes and I had to remain calm until it let go.

Then I woke up, and my toe was hurting.

I explained all this to DH, and he immediately said:

"That's weird, last night I dreamed I was eating chicken wings, and I woke up with your toe in my mouth."

Funny guy, that DH. Funny, funny guy.

Yes...*that's* what we were wondering

What are we eating that's giving us weird dreams? (Besides the haggis last night?)

E came in sleep walking the other night, and stood by my bed, holding up a stuffed animal, saying, "It's okay - I've got the rooster!"

DH had a dream that our friends, the Bad Influence Neighbours (B.I.N.s) were mad at him for breaking one of their priceless cement laundry tubs.

And then he had another dream that sounded awful. You could tell he was still upset by it when he was telling us about it the next morning.

They were all climbing a mountain (I wasn't there - even in dreams he must know I'd sit that one out) and E fell. He was describing in great detail how he saw her start to fall, and he couldn't get to her, and she went off the ledge...

And then K interjected:

"Wait a minute. Was I wearing a hat?"

So our brains do weird things while we're sleeping. K's does weird things while she's awake.