If it doesn't bother her...

Me: Do you find it weird that you're playing with your toes and then eating your sandwich?

Child looks at feet, looks at sandwich, looks at me.

"Nnnnnnnnope."

Parenting is gross, part 59

There was a very strong scent of whiz in the girls room last night. (Please remember how hot is was yesterday, so you can imagine the...intensity of the scent.)

After searching every nook and cranny for a good half hour (and enlisting one girl's help--which yielded this field report: 'the smell gets really bad when you're standing by my bed, but I checked my bed and it just smells like feet') DH finally gave up in frustration. He tossed some things in the garbage can, and then suddenly realized:

"Someone peed in the garbage can."

Well this is attractive

I'm wearing a swingy summer dress. In celebration of this, and in deference to how the dress fits, I'm also wearing a foundation garment in the form of spandex 'boy shorts.'

At approximately 9:00 am things started going south. More specifically, the top part started going south and the bottoms of the legs started going north, and now I have a sort of rolled up spandex hula hoop around my lady parts.

I feel pretty, oh so pretty...

So, did you like it?

E: "I just have to tell everyone how gross those crackers are. All I can say is, when I ate it, it felt like I was eating a dead bug. I thought I would enjoy it, but it was the exact opposite."

Walks away, shaking her head muttering, "EXACT opposite."

Today I am a grown up (part 2)

I chose comfort over fashion when buying shoes today.

I had on a really cute pair of black sandals with a really high heel that made my legs look AMAZING and basically made me feel like I was 25. 

Also, I wouldn't have been able to stand up in them for more than five minutes, and I started to lose circulation in my toes while I was standing in front of the mirror admiring them.  

Then I tried on a pair of cute (but no superlative in front that) sandals that are really quite nice, acceptable, comfortable shoes.

Also, the fastening system on them....appears to be......<whispering> velcro.

So I guess this post should actually be called "Today I am a senior citizen."

Working at cross purposes

Is it wrong that the whole time I was Zumba-ing this morning, I was just thinking about going to Superstore at noon to buy that S'mores pie I saw in the Insider's Report yesterday?

I think Galen hit it out of the park this time.

Well, who could ever forget the first time?

The other day K wistfully said, "I'll always remember the first time I tried beatboxing..."

It begins...

I was listening to a college radio station yesterday, and the news was read by someone named Brittany/Britney/Brittani/Britnee.

And, as predicted, I found it difficult to take anything she said seriously after she introduced herself as Brittany.

Can the days or Dr. Brittanii Smith and Judge Britney Jones be too far behind?

At least it's not my fault

Within ten minutes of getting home last night, all three girls were in tears over various injustices they were suffering.

Me: WHAT is going on in this house? Are you guys all super tired or something?

K: (accusingly) NO! We're crying because it's MONDAY!

I didn't know that was a legit reason! I mean, I know we all FEEL like crying on Mondays, but I didn't know we could just go with it! Awesome.

When did Forrest Gump get here?

K: You want to talk about uncomfortable? What about the grass [at the Agriplex]? I sat on it for THIRTY MINUTES at gymnastics!

Me: So it was really uncomfortable?

K: YES!  (pause) It poked me in the but-TOCKS.

It's a toss-up

I am trying to decide at what point I felt the most ridiculous the other day...

Was it:

a) when I drank a juice box with my lunch?

b) when I followed it up with eating a pudding cup for my afternoon snack?

c) when I sneezed and managed to gob all over myself?

Belly laugh

Oh man....I haven't laughed like that in ages.

It involved me walking into the bathroom last night while DHwas in there....and DH thinking it was my mother walking in.

Now here I go again....what a good stomach work out....

I can only imagine

I was picking up the girls at a friends house the other night, and there was general pandemonium upstairs as the three of them, two friends, an older sister, and her friend all continued playing.

As we grown-ups were chatting downstairs, I heard this:

<YAAAAAAAAAHHHHH - general noise of playing - AAAAAH>

THUD.

Pause.

"I thought you said you were good at that."

Yawn!

My mum visiting (x hard on my liver) - two nights of bad sleep + character on Kick Buttowski saying "Stay alive! No matter what happens, I will find you" = good start to the weekend

Seriously, though, is this how our parents and grandparents felt when Bugs Bunny would do random opera references?

Well that was painless

So.

I'm 40.

Seems like I've been ramping to it for a year, and now here we are.

Not too bad so far.

And really, what's the option? I'll take being 40 over...not.

Plus, I've always felt that I don't want to be 80 and think back to what a weiner I was, whining about turning 40.

One exciting present I received was winning an 11-piece Paderno cookware valued at $699.99 from savealoonie.ca!!

My friend J suggested I should've just asked for the money.

I said I should just take $700 worth of cookie sheets instead, and that would keep us in chicken fingers for the rest of my life.

But maybe it's a sign from the universe that this is the year when I will learn to embrace cooking.

And maybe, in the immortal words of Wayne Campbell, monkeys will fly out of my butt.