It's the new style

My hair air-dried today.

When I left the house, I felt confident that I looked casually chic, in wind-swept beachy kind of way.

When I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the frozen food aisle at Superstore, however, I realized that  this was not the case. I just looked like I really needed to brush my hair.

It wasn't a choice of one or the other

The other day my nephew was trying to explain to someone that some of the guests arriving that day were relatives of my sister's first husband.  It went something like this:

"They're related to my mom's first husband. She had a husband before, but he died. <shrug> I don't know why she didn't just get divorced..."

It's a curse and a blessing

One of the girls has a bit of a short fuse.

On the one hand, it serves a purpose:

A kid accused S of cheating the other day, and while she burst into tears and the other girls all crowded around her to make her feel better, K marched right up to the boy and said "DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT AGAIN!"

But on the other hand:

After their class took a field trip to see the play I directed, one of the boys said that he didn't like it. At which point she yelled at him: "DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD MY MOM WORKED ON THAT SHOW?"

So she's either going to grow up to be a masked avenger/defender of justice....or a Fox News political pundit.

I will never want that wagon wheel coffee table

I don't usually get serious with this blog, but I just wanted to take a moment to note the passing of Nora Ephron.

Before there was Tina Fey in my life, there was Nora Ephron.

I don't think a week goes by in which I don't in some way refer to When Harry Met Sally... (You'd be amazed at how often there is too much pepper on my paprikash, or how regularly I would be pleased to partake of some pecan piiiieeeee.)

And, although it wasn't my favourite, the scene in Sleepless in Seattle, where they make fun of women trying to explain a scene in a movie without bursting into tears? Well...this past weekend I was in another room and I just heard the ending of Toy Story 3, and I welled up. (And, just for fun, try getting my friend A to describe the episode of MASH where Henry Blake dies! Niagara falls.....)

In the lead-up to my 40th birthday, all I could hear was Meg Ryan wailing, "And I'm going to be FORTY!"

I just think Ms. Ephron had a wonderful ear for dialogue, she wrote great, fun characters for women, and she was genuinely funny.

PLUS she had an awesome first name, even if she did spell it wrong.

It could be a Public Service Announcement

The girls came up with quite a song the other night.

It started with all of them chanting: Sitting on the TOILET... Sitting on the TOILET! (x 50)

And then E broke it down with a stirring rap. It was about not disturbing someone when they're 'sitting on the toilet.'

She had the flailing rap arm movements down and everything.

And then she closed with: PEACE! RESPECT THE POOP!

Well, duh...

Add this to the long list of things that I never really thought about, and then one day I said "Ooooooh, I get it!"

Like the time I was writing with a pen and then suddenly understood why it was a called a 'ball point pen.'

Or the time I stopped to think about the word 'boardwalk.'

Yesterday E was talking about horses, as usual, and she said something about the pony's tail....and I suddenly said, "Oh! Ponytail! 'Cause it looks like a pony tail! I get it!"

I am so smrt.

30 000 page views?

You guys are swell!

My friend L emailed yesterday to let me know that she was number 30 001, and I offered to take her out for lunch!

So let me know if you're ever a milestone visitor, maybe I'll send you something awesome, like....a Tupperware hamburger press (only used once!), or an autographed Boz Scaggs album*! (Just kidding, I'll never part with that sucker.)

*Autographed by me, not Boz.

Anyhow, thanks for coming back again and again and again. I truly do appreciate it!

You're welcome

To all of the customers and passers-by who were at the Superstore gas station as I was filling my car tires while wearing a flitty summer frock: I hope you enjoyed that glimpse of the granny panties.

Mad improv skillz

The girls were playing Little Pet Shop yesterday.

One of the girls cut heat, and without missing a beat she instructed her sisters to "pretend something just exploded."

Better than a tie?

E is sick.

She threw up this morning, and DH was holding her hair back.

When she finished she said, in her weak, post-throwing up voice:

"First of all, thank you. And second, happy father's day."

Mark your calendars

Remember that time, like, 14 years ago, when I went to that Tupperware party and I bought that hamburger press thing, mostly because it reminded me of my stepmother, but also because I was convinced that I would use it all the time, and everyone laughed and said there was no way I would ever make hamburgers from scratch?

Tuesday, June 12, 2012 - a day that will live in infamy. I finally used the damn thing.

I am in hell

There is a strange smell to my desk.

It's been 9 months, so I just have to accept that it's not going away.

The kicker? It smells like cheese.

Those who know me know that I'm an anti-cheesite.

What did I do to deserve this punishment?

Well, no, I know what I've done over the years, but really, in all the times I ever imagined what my payback might be, it honestly never occurred to me that it might involve having to work in a cheese-funk for the rest of my days.

Well played, Poetic Justice....well played.

I just need a muumuu

The shoes I'm wearing today are really thwappy. Every time I get up to do something, I feel like Mrs. Roper.

You're welcome

The other day I was cruising along and Landslide came on.

I started givin' 'er with such gusto, I actually felt compelled to roll up the windows.

Astute move of self-respect-preservation? Or cruel act of denying the world my heartfelt Stevie Nicks tribute?

Discuss.

Quick question

To all the other parents out there--

Exactly when does the:
'STOP TOUCHING ME'
'NO, YOU'RE TOUCHING ME! STOP TOUCHING ME!' stage end?

That's how my day started today, with two of them in my bed starting that epic battle.

I was ready to touch them both right out the window.

Vote Of Confidence

K: Mummy, technically I hate it when you do shows.

Me: Well, maybe you'll think differently after you see this one.

E: Yeah, this show is gonna kick butt. Because, as we all know, Mummy directed it!

K: But E! Mummy's not a PROFESSIONAL director!