How the other half lives

I went to a work event the other day, and one of the presenters was a person I recognized from high school.

I knew he had gone to an Ivy League school after high school (with a scholarship, I think)...when I read his bio, it turns out that yes, he got his undergraduate degree from Harvard, and then he got his Ph.D. from Oxford, where he was a Rhodes Scholar.

I was telling all of this to DH last night over dinner, and we were marvelling at how intelligent and focussed one would have to be to achieve such things.

At which point S said, "May I please change the subject now?"

Me: "Sure, what would you like to talk about?"

S: "M was telling us about this video of gymnasts at the Olympics where someone has dubbed it to make it look like they're all farting..."

DH: "Oh, man, we've gotta see that!"

I'm 97% sure that the same conversation was not happening at the Rhodes Scholar's dinner table last night.

Free labour!

I had two goals yesterday: get groceries and clean the bathroom.

(Spoiler alert: I accomplished neither.)

The second goal was especially important because, when I tried to remember the last time I thoroughly cleaned the bathtub, the best answer I could come up with was "before Christmas."

But when I realized it probably wasn't going to happen, I did my best impression of a multi-tasker and put the kids to work. Before each of them went in for a shower, I sprayed the cleaner on the tub, threw a washcloth on top, and told them to skate around while they were in there and get cleanin'.

Also, fun fact about me: if I get out of the shower and put my hair in a Turbie Twist,

and then get distracted by cleaning the damn tub, and my hair ends up drying completely in the Turbie Twist, when I eventually take off the Turbie Twist, I look like this guy:

That was lovely. Loud, but lovely.

I just came home from rehearsal and everyone is asleep.

I got ready for bed downstairs, then came up to my bedroom to find K sleeping in my spot. She and DH were snoring away, and she was sleeping so soundly I didn't want to disturb her, so I climbed into her bed.

As I lay there listening to E and S snoring, I was so filled with love. Lying in that cozy room, lit by the two bedside lights we've been using since we brought the girls home from the hospital, I thought about how lucky I am to be in a house with so much life and love in it. I listened to the rhythm of their wheezy, whistling breaths, and I thought about the fact that moments like this are fleeting, and the girls will be out of the house before I know it, and I'll look back on tonight and wish I could relive it one more time. I looked at their angelic little faces, surrounded by so many stuffed animals they were almost completely camouflaged in the cuteness.

And then I thought, "This snoring is driving me nuts, I've got to go downstairs and get some sleep."

I'm such a hypocrite

The girls were talking about a boy in their class who was being rude and grumpy and swearing at school the other day.

Me: Well, maybe he hears that kind of stuff at home, so....

E: Well so do we!! We just don't repeat it!!

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Speaking of swearing, I've mentioned before that they gave me a heart attack one day when they said someone at school had used the C word.  (Turned out the kid had said, 'Crap.')

Yesterday they reported that someone used the F word!

Me: Really? The F word??

E: Yes, you know. The F - R word....

I couldn't actually determine if it was "frig" or "freakin'", because she wouldn't repeat it.

I guess this means that they think everything I say is a swear word, so they just don't repeat anything?

Not even "fudge knuckle" or "mother of pearl"? I feel like I'm making up these substitutes for nothing, now.