SELL OUT!

Yeah, I caved in and 'monetised' the blog.

Luckily I had no integrity to begin with, so none has been compromised.

Frankly, I was just so shocked that the book/film offers hadn't come rolling in yet, I felt I had to take matters into my own hands. Now to sit back with my feet on the desk, hands clasped behind my head, smoking a cigar, and wait for the cheques to roll in.

An equally sure-fire prospect would be to invest in my kids' prospects as budding poets.

There was one last night called "A Great Mom" which I was really excited to hear, but unfortunately it went off on a tangent and never actually mentioned anything about me being great.

A couple of odes to dogs, flowers and the park. Many, many poems involving scatalogical humour.

My favourite, though, was this sort of mini Haiku (2-3-2), by K:

Sunshine.
No sunshine.
Butt cheeks.

I think we should start a line of greeting cards by children, for children. Because what kid wouldn't think that was the BEST CARD EVER--regardless of the occasion?

Also, before I forget, and since this whole thing exists because I'm trying to remember all of the bizarre things my kids say...

E: I'm as hungry as Santa in a house with no milk and cookies.

S: I'm so excited I'm going to explode and then they'll have to hose me down off the school walls!

So vivid. So gross.