I blame Gina

It's a well-documented fact that I love 70's (and 80's) AM gold.

So it should come as no surprise that when Total Eclipse of the Heart came on the radio yesterday, I was in The Zone.

What you don't know is that I am taking singing lessons from a wonderful teacher here in town named Gina.

I am loving the lessons, and while I may not have reached, say, Patsy Gallant status, I have noticed a huge improvement since I started.

So I blame Gina for the fact that I was really nailing the song, which was of course supported by video-worthy arm movements, a LOT of emoting, and some hair flips thrown in for good measure.

It was during one such hair flip (at a red light) that I glanced in the rearview mirror and made eye contact with one of the two gentlemen in the car behind me, smiling broadly.

So I blame Gina, but they can thank her for an entertaining drive home.

Too soon!

We went bowling yesterday.

I sprang for a super healthy lunch (french fries and a pop).

I kept reminding the girls to use the little wooden fork thingies when eating the fries, so the bowling balls wouldn't get greasy.

After several reminders, it also occurred to me that there was another concern:

"Guys, please use the forks...after you've had your hands on the balls, you don't want to touch your food."

And there was a pause.

And the girls looked at each other and at the floor, and tried not to giggle.

Noooooo!

I am not ready for them to get ball-related humour.

Mostly because it means that I'm going to have to rethink my whole repertoire.

Well, she's not wrong

We've been watching the Food Network a lot lately. I suppose I'm hoping that the children will be inspired to learn to cook, and then I won't have to.

To give you an idea of how important cooking is in our house: on one show someone was having trouble with a pressure cooker; our girls were confused, and one of them said, "I thought a pressure cooker was a kind of fart?"

And with that, we wrap up 2015.

As you've noticed, the posts have been sparse this year -- mostly because the girls are savvy enough now to say "don't put that in the blog!" when they say something hilarious/embarrassing. (Embarious? Hilarrassing?)

However, on the same day as the sincere pressure cooker question, I was showing the girls a new pair of pants I got, and one of them said, "Awww, you got new mom jeans!"

So maybe the blog will now evolve into a place where I can record all of the horrible teenagery things they're going on unload on us in the next few years. 

Wherever it goes, thank you for coming along for the ride.

All the best to you and your loved ones in 2016.

I'm just a really great influence, basically

Today we marked our seventh celebration of an annual tradition - the Picture Day Meltdown.

We did get out the door fully dressed, but there had been much yelling, some tears, and I was in a full-body sweat by the time I got in the car.

After school, one of the girls passionately declared: "Mummy! When I get older and live on my own, every day when I get home I'm going to whip off my pants and sit on the couch and watch TV."

I'm sure a Tiger Mother would have something to say about that, but I just thought "Damn, that sounds like a good life goal."

But the good news is, tonight I went to the gym for the first time in months!

Right after I ate four slices of pizza for dinner.

I was going to type 'thin crust pizza' in that sentence AS IF THAT FREAKING MATTERS.

So I ate the pizza, and shortly after, as one is wont to do in that situation, I cut some heat.

DH: "Did you just fart?"

Me: "Yes. It's.....not good."

DH: "It's not going to be good for the other people at the gym, that's for sure."

It's all in your perspective

E commenting on someone's behaviour: "She sure is worried about fitting in..."

K agreed, and exclaimed, "That's the LEAST of my worries!"

Me: "Oh? What's your biggest worry?"

E, immediately: "Spiders."

K, after a thoughtful pause: "Coming face-to-face with a Dalek or Cyberman."

                                     ----------------------------

This morning, S wore the first summery skirt of the year.

Me: "Oh, you look super-cute!"

A minute later, K finished dressing and presented herself to me, running her arms up and down her sides, displaying her outfit.

K: "How do I look? But DON'T say super-cute."

I looked at her Blue Jays shirt and shorts.

Me: "You look super-sporty--"

She cut me off.

K: "I look awesome."

It's not only about having a different perspective, it's about me wanting theirs!

I was being helpful

Approaching the near-empty bag Ziploc bag of home made chocolate chip cookies, I thought:

"Oh good, there are only two left! I can eat the last ones without feeling guilty, because the kids would just fight over who gets the last two anyway."

I took another step closer.

"Oh, there are three left...

Well, they would never go for each just getting one little cookie (and one was that sad bottom-of-the-bowl cookie that only had a single chocolate chip in it!).

Three isn't that bad. They're small. Still mine."

I reached in to claim the cookies.

"Oh. There are four left...

Four is too many. I am not going to eat four cookies. That would be gross."



(I ate four.)

So near and yet so far

Last Friday night, the girls were invited over to their friend's house.

When I told them about the invitation, two of them jumped at the chance. One, however, was looking forward to a night of 'just staying in'. Because apparently she's 40.

I mentioned this was on a FRIDAY NIGHT, yes?

So I suggested, I coaxed, I cajoled...I tried everything in my arsenal to convince her to go.

Sure, I could've played it cool, but let me review: All 3 kids. Out of the house. Friday night.

Finally, she burst out, "What is UP with you? Usually you're like 'that's fine, you don't have to if you don't want to' but tonight you're all 'go, go, GO!'"

There was a pause.

She squinted.

I squinted.

Somewhere, the theme from The Good, The Bad and the Ugly played.

And then...

I blinked.

"No reason," I sighed.

And the three of us curled up on the couch. She, on her tablet. He, watching The Curse of Oak Island (I'm assuming). Me, looking through the flyers.

Somewhere the 'you lose' music from The Price is Right played.