You've got to have friends....

...for days like this when you've got nothing to write about on your blog.

This comes courtesy of my friend L, who also supplied the tidbit about awesome boots that still allow you to wear orthotics.  And yes, I do think she should write her own blog. And yes, if I were making any money on this blog, I would totally cut her in on the profits.

But anyway...

My friend L started working in a new office 3 weeks ago.

'Tis the season, so she was joining in the office tradition of decorating her cubicle.

L's new boss: Hey, L, did you get any decorations for your desk?

L: Oh yes, I grabbed the blue balls.

<awkward silence>

Round of applause please, for my friend L!

Try asking just like that

At school they are giving away Kindness Angels to kids who do something nice. If a teacher sees a kid voluntarily doing something kind, he or she will give the kid an angel, and it goes on this big Christmas tree.

S has two, K and E have none.

E: It's weird, because Mrs. G always tells me how nice I am and how great I am and how kind I am.

All: Yes, E you're very nice and kind.

E: Then why doesn't she just give me a stinkin' Kindness Angel already?

As role models go, she's actually not bad

I was wearing one of those floating long cardigan things yesterday, and as I was filling the dishwasher the cardigan kept getting in the way. The floaty ends of the drapey parts kept dragging along the dishes, and it was getting on my nerves.

Suddenly, I thought, "I wonder how Dorothy managed?"

That's right, folks. I'm at a point in my life where I'm asking myself what Dorothy Zbornak, in all her shoulder-padded, flowing '80's pantsuited glory, would do in a situation like this.

At any rate, I'm sure it would involve a pointed silence and slow burn stare at the dishwasher. Or my cardigan. Whichever was being ridiculous.

So inappropriate. But we still laughed.

The girls are learning French at school.

Somebody mentioned that something was cold, so we all said 'froid' and then discussed how weird the spelling is.

Me: It sounds like it should be spelled FWA, right?  But it's f-r-o-i-d.

All: That's weird!

E: Yeah, that's like the number ten! You say it like "DEES" but the way it's spelled, it's like you should be saying "DICKS! D-i-x. DICKS! It's so weird! It has an X on the end, so it should be DICKS!"

She was so proud of this revelation, we didn't have the heart to shut 'er down. But after she said DICKS! for the 6th or 7th time, we had to change the subject.

Wow, that's some self-image you've got there

I was reading a script this evening.

The character I would like to play is described at one point as "looking good."

I immediately thought, "Oh man, I'd better start working out."

WTH, inner monologue? I need to kick it into high gear if I'm going to be able to pull off 'looking good'?!?

It's not like I was going to show up in the running shoes and uniboob look.

Oh fer cryin' out loud

It's been snowing for, what, ten minutes? And I already got the first soaker of the year.

Also, my calves look like two giant sausages in my new boots. They're like Spanx for my legs.

Never mind, just wake me up in April.

Harrumph.

Still a bit grumpy because a wanker stole my wallet that I left behind at Subway. Consequently, I have nothing of hilarity to offer today.

Instead, please enjoy this clip from The IT Crowd, a British sitcom starring the cute police officer from Bridesmaids.

All you need to know is that through a hilarious set of misunderstandings, everyone thinks that the woman going for a joy ride on the mail cart is dead. The gentleman in the lunchroom went on a disastrous date with her the night before, and has decided to take this opportunity to tell everyone he was the last person she slept with. (They didn't.)